5-year-old refuses to share restaurant meal with 2-year-old cousin, aunt accuses mom of parenting incorrectly: 'We're working on sharing'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 14, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

A big part of parenting is knowing how to pick your battles.

No parent on this earth has a kid who acts exactly how they want them to all of the time, no matter how they might brag about them in public. Teaching someone to be a semi-functional person involves a lot of trial and error, and sometimes those errors can be public and embarrassing.

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  • A young female child takes a bite of a pizza slice she is holding with both hands
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A young female child takes a bite of a pizza slice she is holding with both hands

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Nonetheless, not everybody is going to extend infinite grace to a parent whose child they believe is acting out. Nor should they, in some cases. While the last thing any parent wants to deal with is another judgmental adult, there are times when they provide a necessary wake-up call. 

    Still, all moms and dads have slightly different approaches to parenting, and they should be the ones who know their kids best. It is understandable that they may be annoyed when somebody else tries to tell them what to do. Just because somebody has an opinion on a child's behavior doesn't mean that they are right, and this issue is only amplified when it is a family member doing the criticizing. They are not just somebody whom you can ignore and walk away from if you don't agree.

  • Am I wrong for not forcing my daughter to share?

    7 adults, 4 kids, Applebee's. My daughter (5) ordered Pizza with Mac & Cheese. My sister didn't order anything for her two kids (2, 1) since they ate before arrival. Food drops and my nephew (2) clearly wants some of the Mac & Cheese.
    via BriMarsh

  • In this story, a 5-year-old ordered pizza and mac and cheese. Her 2-year-old cousin had not had anything ordered, as he and his sibling had eaten beforehand, but he wanted some of her mac and cheese.

    Despite requests to share, the 5-year-old refused, leading to her aunt ordering another portion of mac and cheese for her son, which took another 20 minutes.

    The mom of the 5-year-old texted her sister apologizing for her daughter's behavior, explaining that sharing was something they were working on. However, her sister was not impressed with her excuse and told her that she had not done enough to prevent the situation.

  • I encouraged my daughter to share with her cousin but she declined. We're working on sharing, which has become more difficult with the arrival of her brother (1). We give autonomy around sharing unless it becomes mean spirited or unfair, then we'll step in. Praise the good, coach the bad. She's a good kid. My sister then places an order of M&C for her son which takes
    via BriMarsh
  • 20m to arrive. Dinner moves on. The table collectively offers my nephew half a dozen other food options which he declines.
    via BriMarsh
  • I separately text my sister apologizing and explain that we're working on sharing. I had a conversation with my daughter before bed about the sharing opportunity.
    via BriMarsh
  • Later, I receive bookish texts explaining the disgusting behavior, the failed parenting moment, and how my nephew had to sit for 20m watching everyone else eat.
    via BriMarsh
  • If the context is applicable, my nephew has stolen food/snacks off my daughter's plate several times in the past which left my daughter upset. (I don't blame him, it's completely age appropriate).
    via BriMarsh
  • AITBF? Should I have forced my daughter to share or publicly pressured her into it?
    via BriMarsh
  • A young female child with a man sitting behind her looks to the side as she eats a slice of pizza
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A young female child with a man sitting behind her looks to the side as she eats a slice of pizza

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • wonderabc no. they need to learn to order for their kid at the correct time. bringing a kid to dinner and not ordering for him because he already ate is bizarre behaviour.
    via wonderabc
  • Gloomy-Breakfast8474 It's food! She doesn't have to share her food if she doesn't want to.
    via Gloomy-Breakfast8474
  • ThreeDogs2022 You were fine. This wasn't about sharing. It was about your sister feeling inconvenienced since she didn't have the foresight of a doorknob. I'd let her know that you hope she learns from this parenting moment. I would have told my daughter, "if you arent hungry for all of it I'm sure cousin would like a bite, but it's your choice." Signed, I've raised six kids
    via ThreeDogs2022
  • Connect_Tackle299 You sound like your trying to force her to share Teaching kids no is a full sentence is so important It was her food. The other parent was trying to be cheap. Don't take away your kids no to make someone else happy
    via Connect_Tackle299
  • FunNectarine6906 Heck no. You don't ask someone to share their food at a restaurant. You order more food!! She ordered exactly what she wanted to eat. You should never ask her to go hungry because your sister wants to save money on feeding her kids. . Is wrong with you? Why would you ever ask your daughter to go hungry? Because your sister is ab ive to her kids. And yes the sister is ab ive. Take a small children to a restaurant and telling them that they don't get to eat something while watchin
    via FunNectarine6906
  • Jerseygirl2468 Why didn't your sister order anything for her kids? Even if they ate something before going, she had to know they'd look at everyone else eating and want something. And even if they didn't eat it all then, you take the rest home. Also instead of asking to share your sister should have ordered him the mac and cheese right away.
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • Tall-Compote1354 She should be able to say no when she wants to. Telling girls to be nice and always share is a slippery slope. I hate how my go to is 'I'm sorry.' It isn't our job to constantly please everyone.
    via Tall-Compote1354
  • Unique-Assumption619 YTB for not sticking up for your daughter when her cousin steals her snacks. And for trying to force her to share her food, she doesn't need to and good for her honestly for already having strong boundaries. Do better by your own kid, not your sister's. She should've ordered him food.
    via Unique-Assumption619
  • Vegetable-Section-84 You should NOT be forcing her to allowing others to steal her food
    via Vegetable-Section-84

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Tags

family drama kids restaurant parenting aunt family food daughter mom nephew
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